Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Home Environment That Supports Independence

Babies and children are observers, and the more opportunities they have to observe their environment, which includes people and things as well as the interactions, the more quickly they will assimilate their culture and become socialized. Babies and children need movement, language, independence, order, love, and discipline. With these as a basis, babies and children will be able to practice the actions and interactions that they have observed. The need for independence begins at home.


Just as children have a prepared environment at school, they should also have a prepared environment at home. Rolling toys and soft balls that only move a short distance give babies and young toddlers a challenge to move forward. When you give them a safe place to move, it allows them to explore freely without restrictions. A stool, sturdy low table, or sofa is excellent for enabling children to practice walking while holding on to something. Small walker wagons provide the opportunity for children to pull up and practice walking at will. Push and pull toys are fun for the new walker.

Once a child is walking confidently, it is always better for them to walk than be pushed around in a stroller. Walks may take longer, but the goal of a walk is to see all the wonderful things that surround them and to have the time to stop and examine anything they find of interest. Visiting the park gives them a chance to climb and jump in an appropriate space. Tricycles and scooters are wonderful additions as children’s motor skills progress. Children should have access to music so they may dance when they wish.

Children need to learn spoken language. Infants watch with great attention the mouths of those around them when they speak. Babies start to imitate mouth movements as early as two days old. Research has shown that babies imitate the inflection of their language when they cry. They will make sounds, cooing, and then start to babble. All on their own they will construct language. Babies’ brains are fully functional at birth. They are hardwired to learn. Babies acquire receptive language long before they expressive language. Motherese is a great help to understanding language, and it helps isolate sounds so later the babies can replicate the sounds. Motherese is not the same as baby talk which pronounces words incorrectly, but rather a higher pitched voice with an intonation that is melodic and singsongy. Speech slows and vowels are elongated. Words are repeated, most frequently nouns, and isolated. Sentences are shorter and simpler. They are repeated with slight variation.

To foster independence as children approach preschool age, clothes should be hung in the lower half of the closet. Place a limited number of seasonally appropriate items for the child to access. Items may also be placed in the lower drawers of a dresser. Have a hamper for the child to place dirty clothes. Show the child how to fold or hang clean clothes and put them away.

Children should have clothes that are easy to put on beginning with shirts that pull over the head, Velcro shoes, and elastic-waist pants. As coordination develops, clothes can become more complicated. Children’s choices in clothing are personal taste and don’t need to be corrected. Clothing coordination is not the important issue; inner pride and self-confidence are.

A child’s dishes should be in a low cabinet with easy access for the child. Spoons and forks can be kept in a container next to the bowls, plates, and glasses. Dishes should not be plastic. Corelle dishes work well. Children enjoy heavy objects and objects that are like those the adults use. The use of plastic allows the child to be inattentive to what they are doing and this includes Sippy cups. A small child sized bucket and mop along with a sponge should be readily available for the child to wipe up any mishaps.

Children love to participate in the daily life of the home. Cooking, baking, and cleaning are wonderful activities that children love to do when they have small child-sized tools available. Children also love working outdoors. Raking, shoveling, weeding, and planting are a few activities that children enjoy, and there are child sized tools for these activities.

The adult is part of the child’s environment. From the adult the child receives material things and help. The child also takes from the adult what is necessary for self-construction. It is the child who loves the adult.

Is it possible to over nurture, over indulge, and over permit? Love can be defined as a profound respect for another. Love is not doing for the child what the child can do for him or herself. The child wants and craves independence. Creating dependence is a need of the adult ego. Our role as an adult from the moment a child is born is to allow the child to proceed forward with his or her self-construction on the way to becoming a fully functioning human being within society.

When children are given too much stuff, it hampers their ability to develop concentration and attention. A few well chosen toys that can be used in a variety of ways will serve children better. Limiting choices allows children to see the individual choices, and they do not become overwhelmed. Display the choices on a shelf that is easily accessible to your child without adult help. Avoid plastic. Wooden toys are more expensive and sometimes difficult to find, but they are durable and will last. If you have several items, only put a few out. Toys can be rotated as necessary. A good set of maple blocks is a great investment. They are open-ended and can be used by a wide age range.

There is no freedom without limits. Discipline is positive, it redirects, and it offers choices whenever possible or appropriate. Discipline is not punishment, rewards, or praise nor is it something we do to a child. The goal of discipline is for children to develop their own internal wisdom regarding choices they are making. When evaluating young children’s behavior, adults need to look at three things. Is it safe, is it polite, and is it respectful? Young children do not have the theory of the mind. They don’t understand that others aren’t thinking what they think. They also are concrete thinkers and don’t reach the age of reason until around ten years of age. Simply put, children under the age of four don’t lie. They think you’re thinking exactly what they are thinking. When looking at children’s behavior from age four and on, adults can gradually add two things. Is it legal and is it moral?

Create a home that supports your child's development and your child will be well on his or her wroad to independence.

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